What Can a Working Mother Do When She Feels Depleted?

Feeling depleted is something quite common that we may be going through. The depletion comes with overwhelm and the feeling that:

• We do not have enough time which is actually true but despite that we can still feel more in control of the little time we have available.
• We are not the best mother, partner, friend that we could be
• We are not feeling in control of any situation.

All the above happens more often that we would like, when our children fall unexpectedly ill, when we have to reschedule or leave things unfinished. It also happens when we spend a lot of time at home and unable to work or do things that bring us meaning in our lives. 

Because the thing is, sometimes the cloud is so dense that we feel far from being able to regain control of the situation. This is when something is missing in our lives. It might be rest, eating better, spending more time alone, with friends or even it might be focusing on work more. 

Knowing that there is not one type of mother, human in the world makes it easier to understand that our needs are  different. I, for instance, have a very high need for privacy and if I do not get it, after a few days, I will start to feel more overwhelmed or impatient with the children. 

That privacy comes with time to think, time to learn new things and focus on my work too.

The good news is, when we feel depleted, we can decide to work towards coming out of this intense emotion.

Notice the words that I have used here “decide to work”. 

The thing is, we create both situations “feeling depleted” and “feeling in control” from our own thinking process and triggers. This means that we can choose to come out of the depletion state by decide to work towards it.

So how do we do that?

1- We can work on our triggers that are usually linked to our past. When we feel triggered by certain things our kids do, there is usually a reason for it. Understanding those triggers will help and what comes next helps even more

2- Creating distance between your emotions and your actions. When we act in a certain way and impulsively, we might choose things that are not in line with our values or how we want to show up in the world as parents or humans.

3- The other thing that helps is to decide to focus on one thing at a time and take action. 

When we realise we are in the mode of depletion, it is usually what we call the “victim mode” the mode where we think we should be doing certain things. The should and the must are keeping us in that loop. The ownership is starting by choosing one thing that will move us from that stage of feeling stuck.

As a fellow Marie Kondo coach, Tanya, shared with us the other day during a talk she did: “start with the socks, the joy you will feel will multiply and give you the motivation to do other parts of your wardrobe”.

The same thing applies to overwhelm: when you come back from holidays, focus on the one thing that you want done.  From that, move to the next thing, and the next. 

If you want more ideas on how to manage your time better, I also have my freebie available here to download.